Tattooing

I'm against tattooing your body. This is most likely because I'm old, and in my day only weirdos and criminals got tattoos. Therefore, it's shocking even to me to say that today I'm getting two, yes, two tattoos. I don't have to explain - I am woman.

First, I'm going to give myself the gift of full and beautiful eyebrows. I have 12 long, course hairs above each eye in a pattern that gives me a constant look of surprise. They only reach half-way across my brow line and then stop. Mother nature has not been kind to me in this regard. In fact, certain parts of my body prove absolutely that NO intelligent design was involved.

Second, I'm having my lips tattooed. There's nothing structurally wrong with my lips, but with age, wrinkle lines protrude from every part of my lips, creating a super highway system on which my lipstick goes for joy rides with each and every application. I'm so over this 'creeping lip syndrome.'

I've been assured the pain will be controlled. My god, I hope it's true. I've heard such horror stories about tattoo torture. Tomorrow's post will include a full report on the validity of this claim.

There will be no disclosure, however, of the tattoo artist's identity until the infection time period has passed. Only then will I give a thumbs up or down on the work. Due diligence was done regarding her qualifications, certification, etc. I'll be watching for observance of sterile technique...if I haven't fainted.