Post-Op Tattoos Day 1

First of all, the pain during the procedure was minimal. She has mixed her own pharmaceuticals to create a most effective topical goo which she liberally and frequently applied. That being said, it didn't prevent a complete anxiety melt-down including chest pains and esophageal spasms (on my part - not hers). This was the result of years worth of memories - other people's - breathlessly recounting to me their painful, no AGONIZING, experience with tattoos. I wanted to believe it wouldn't hurt - her words - but couldn't erase those memories.

It took 3 1/2 hours, and this is not one minute's worth of exaggeration. When the numbing wore off my lips, they throbbed. Ice packs helped. My eyebrows didn't hurt afterwards at all. We left her place of business at 6:15 and by 8:00, I was perfectly comfortable.

There's swelling, so I have big, red, pouty lips; these look great on Angelina but sort of silly on me. John's worried, perhaps even frightened, from the look on his face. My eyebrows are, well, VERY well defined, Elizabethesque. Lips and brows are supposed to fade and be less 3-D in 3 to 6 weeks. I may hole up here in my house until then. Don't want pics showing up later from someone's errant phone camera.

I have a sheet of DOs and DON'Ts to which I must adhere for a week, including drinking everything through a straw. This is fine for everything but my morning coffee, which feels a little ridiculous and melts the straw. I must not rub but rather I should dab. There must be no soap, shampoo or conditioner that veers toward my face. I must shower with gobs of Vit. A & D ointment on offended areas to protect from such invasion. Is this fun or what?

This is the first beauty enhancement I've ever done, and my reasons for it were clearly spelled out in my last post. I'm in for the long haul and totally committed. John, on the other hand, is looking longingly at my old pictures before the big scary lips and brows. Men can be so simple.

Tattooing

I'm against tattooing your body. This is most likely because I'm old, and in my day only weirdos and criminals got tattoos. Therefore, it's shocking even to me to say that today I'm getting two, yes, two tattoos. I don't have to explain - I am woman.

First, I'm going to give myself the gift of full and beautiful eyebrows. I have 12 long, course hairs above each eye in a pattern that gives me a constant look of surprise. They only reach half-way across my brow line and then stop. Mother nature has not been kind to me in this regard. In fact, certain parts of my body prove absolutely that NO intelligent design was involved.

Second, I'm having my lips tattooed. There's nothing structurally wrong with my lips, but with age, wrinkle lines protrude from every part of my lips, creating a super highway system on which my lipstick goes for joy rides with each and every application. I'm so over this 'creeping lip syndrome.'

I've been assured the pain will be controlled. My god, I hope it's true. I've heard such horror stories about tattoo torture. Tomorrow's post will include a full report on the validity of this claim.

There will be no disclosure, however, of the tattoo artist's identity until the infection time period has passed. Only then will I give a thumbs up or down on the work. Due diligence was done regarding her qualifications, certification, etc. I'll be watching for observance of sterile technique...if I haven't fainted.